“This is some bullshit.” Geoff grumbled as he tried to wash the remnants of Lirrip from his cat, which was repaying this kindness by struggling furiously and attempting to disembowel Geoff for his efforts.
“Stupid fucking Brad, and his stupid asshole father! Stupid bloody AI and STUPID CAT WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP STRUGGLING! I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU AND REMOVE THIS SHITE FROM YOUR FUR, YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!”
Bleeding profusely from his hands, arms, chest, face, and somehow also his back, Geoff released his now mostly-clean cat, not so much voluntarily as due to becoming increasingly lightheaded..
In typical feline fashion, it took off to find someplace quiet to wash off the remaining bits of Lirrip-goop and reclaim some of its dignity.
Staggering his way to the Medbay –only occasionally leaning against a bulkhead in an effort to stop himself from passing out-, Geoff passed by several other wounded crewmembers.
Some with minor burns or contusions, but the majority with renegade-door related fractures. It’s all good and well to have powerful motors embedded in the doors so they could instantly seal themselves shut in case of emergencies, but without the safety protocols active, they were a proper hazard.
It seemed that the AI had gotten itself stuck in a loop and was no longer causing as many issues, and last Geoff had heard, the Engineers were close to a temporary fix, surprisingly suggested by Lydia, somewhat redeeming the Thompson’s family name after her brother’s gigantic cock-up. All they had to do now was survive the journey to the nearest spaceport so they could safely go for a proper maintenance routine.
Luckily, Geoff’s own injuries didn’t turn out to be too severe, and the Auto-Doc got him fixed up in no-time. It still baffled him that with all this advanced technology, the blood-replacement pills still tasted like absolute ass. Maybe it had to do something with the food synthesizers, something worth looking into after Brad had been replaced with someone a little less dangerous and a tad more competent, like, for instance, a toddler.
Before leaving the Medbay however, Geoff decided to check up on Dugllg, who was still recovering from his brief stint of rawdogging the cold harsh vacuum of space.
“Listen mate, wishing you all the best and a speedy recovery, I can’t even begin to imagine what horrorshow you’ve been through. And, ah, speaking of horrorshow? I heard a rumour that Brad has been hiding out in one of the shuttle cargo holds. Just, y’know, in case you fancied thanking him for all his hard work with the AI and all.”
The slow and deliberate needle-teeth-laden smile Dugllg showed Geoff would wake him up in a cold sweat for many nights to come, boding nothing but nightmares for Brad in the near future. Nightmares and horrorshows. Looking at his own fresh scars, still pink and tender from the AutoDoc’s treatment, Geoff shrugged. Brad had this coming, and so much more.
No longer at risk of passing out, he set off once again to find his cat, making a mental note to look up if Rlep-goop is harmful to cats. Or humans, for that matter.
Walking through dimly lit or flickering hallways, and dashing through the occasional still malfunctioning door, Geoff nearly barreled into Tch’ri, who was standing so extremely still that it creeped Geoff out.
Normally Xem were always moving, either their mandibles, or at least one of the forearms holding something or gesturing while Xem spoke or pondered.
But completely still like this?
Creepy at a primal level, like an apex predator waiting to strike.
“Shh!” Tch’ri hissed at Geoff, “Don’t move, don’t make a sound, look!”
Following Xem gaze, Geoff saw his cat, staring at an empty hallway.
Ears flat, tail slightly fluffed up and sweeping from side to side, a ridge of fur on its back standing up straight.
“Look at it! It’s seeing something there, but the sensors aren’t picking up anything at all!”
Geoff chuckled, immediately recognising this behaviour.
“Naw, nothing going on there, he’s just greebling.”
Tch’ri tilted Xem head, a typical sign Xem was accessing Xemhive.
“You know, hunting greebles? It’s just something cats do. Nobody actually knows why they do it, or what causes it, but it’s been thoroughly documented by Terrans. In general, it’s just considered cute. Or at least adorable.”
“Xemhive has no record of these ‘greebles’, what kind of species are they?”
Geoff, not entirely sure how to explain this, gave it a shot anyway.
“They don’t really exist? They’re just some kind of invisible gremlins, or at least that’s what we call it. I think cats just see flecks of dust, or maybe tiny bugs? It’s a bit of a catch-all term for the things that cats hunt but we can’t see.”
Tch’ri tilted Xem head again, and recited in a monotonous tone:
“Gremlins, mischievous creatures that cause chaos, wreak havoc, or sabotage, yet manage to do so fully unseen. The term became popular during and after the second Terran world war.”
“H-uh,” said Geoff, “I always thought it came from the third one, because of all the cheaply made drones that kept malfunctioni-..”
He stopped talking as he noticed Tch’ri’s face.
Alien to him as it might be, the expression of pure unadulterated terror is one that is impossible to misinterpret, no matter the species.
“You have ZARRS on Terra? AND THEY’RE HERE!?”
Tch’ri was trembling, sending a shiver down Geoff’s spine. He had never seen Xem afraid, always a beacon of calm calculated intellect in even the weirdest of situations.
“What are Zarrs? Tch’ri, calm down, it’s just greebles, they’re not real.”
Slowly, Tch’ri started backing away from the hallway and Geoff’s cat, then motioned for Geoff to follow Xem.
“We need to find Lirrip, he’s the only one on this ship that has dealt with them before!”
Glancing down at his uniform, which had been shredded by his cat and stained by leftover-Lirrip, Geoff coughed nervously.
“I’m afraid that’s going to take some time.” he said, gesturing at his shirt.
“Cat got’im. Again.”
“Then pray to any Deities you hold dear that the ship makes it to port, as those chances have just diminished significantly.”
To be continued in Chapter 7: Zarrs