“Why Bastet? You said she was already one of the top deities.” said Charlotte.
Bastet walked delicately around Charlotte’s studio, fully ignoring her, exploring every corner, opening every box and sniffing its contents.
“Well,” said Hermes, “we thought we’d start off easy. Bastet can manifest outside of Cathaìr nan Diathàn and everyone loves cats, even if they fuck up. Actually, especially if they fuck up.”
On cue Bastet slapped a water bottle off the counter. It clattered loudly on the floor. Charlotte and Hermes startled at the noise and turned to look at her. Bastet shrugged and went back to her exploring.
If you do need introducing to Bastet, here she is, she is a gentle, caring, protective goddess. She is a guardian of women and children and, above all, of cats. Her body is that of a beautiful golden skinned woman, covered in silks and strands of gold and precious stones, her head is that of a cat with shimmering fur, black like a raven’s wing. Her eyes are deep blue flecked with gold, like lapis lazuli, with gold outlines that make-up artists barely dare dream to achieve. Charlotte couldn’t calm her nerves at the idea of having to interview her, despite the urging of Hermes that Bastet is a sweetheart and a failsafe crowd pleaser.
Charlotte held out a hand to Bastet, Bastet took it and put it on her head between her ears. Hesitantly, Charlotte gave the cat goddess a few skritches.
“Thank you, nice to meet you!” Bastet’s voice was like a sweet honey slathered purr, soft, yet high pitched and gravelly. Meeting done, she padded off towards the kitchen in search of other entertainment.
“Hi guys and welcome to Pastries with the Pantheon, a new channel from Charlotte Chantilly in collaboration with the actual gods and goddesses of Cathaìr nan Diathàn! We’re starting strong with the one who is always covered in cat hair, the one true Mother of Cats, Bastet!”
Bastet was standing in the sink behind Charlotte, digging in the overhead cupboard, pulling out dishrags one by one.
Hermes tried to get her attention by whisper-shouting her name. She hopped down, padded over, sniffed the camera and walked off again
Hermes pinched his nose bridge in frustration with one hand and with the other waved at Charlotte to continue.
Maybe live streaming wasn’t the best idea.
“Cats are obligate carnivores, so I thought a meat pie would be an offering our guest can’t resist. For this we need some prime beef, nothing less for divinity.”
Bastet popped up next to Charlotte suddenly, rubbing her head against Charlotte’s cheek and hugging her arm.
Charlotte laughed nervously, trying very hard not to accidentally stab the goddess with her knife.
“Well guys, looks like we finally got her attention! If you could please take a seat, my lady, I promise it will be a lot tastier when it’s done. Ok, ok, I had prepared a high bar stool for you, but the counter is fine if you prefer it.”
Bastet purred up a storm, a strange sound coming from a woman with an alluring figure, minimal clothing and lots of jangling jewellery. Of course her head was fully feline. Charlotte wondered at what point in Bastet’s neck did the cat stop and the woman started, what bit of the cat does purring come from anyway?
“You are mainly known as the protector of our fur babies, but you are also one of the gentler deities, kind and caring and your blessings are- please stop trying to grab the steak. Ow, those nails are sharp! Let go-ah!
Well, sorry folks, it looks like pie is off the menu. Would you like to add anything, lady Bastet? This way, at the camera, please?”
Swallowing a mouthful of meat Bastet exclaimed cheerfully “Adopt, don’t shop!” And ran off with her prize.
Charlotte forced a smile “that’s it for this episode I guess, even though it got cut short, if you enjoyed it don’t forget to like and subscribe!”
“Fantastic! Brilliant!” Said Hermes, “I could not have scripted it better! Let me work my magic and it will go viral in a snap!” He snapped his fingers and a metallic tingle in the air hinted that he had done just that.
“Next we’ll do Charon, when he comes to pick us up to bring us home. Hope you don’t get seasick, Chicka!”
Great.